A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

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Yo mama so fat, she was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and has been instructed by her physician to exercise and regularly monitor her blood glucose levels.

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Speaker 1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Speaker 2: Why? Speaker 1: Every member of your immediate, nuclear, and extended family simultaneously contracted Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) while being beaten, maimed, raped, tortured, and molested by a deranged serial killer during the sinking of the Titanic, eventually bleeding to death and allowing child rapists to eat their dead bodies.

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What do you get when you cross an Indian and a duck? An Indian duck.

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Why was Stephanie sad? She dropped a washing machine on her toe

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Pop Fiction last words. guess who edition: "Okay okay you win again Batman! Ahahaha hohohoho hehehehe! Wanna hear a new jo... Eh... what are you doing with that gun?" "Why did I not just take a step or two to the side during the five hours and over thirty episodes he kept charging that Kamehameha?" "Bah I cannot die as long as my ego is full! Are these really the ratings on my latest game? H0moerotic? Childish? A sociopath? Oh man..." Moral: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the moralmanBitch! HOAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

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You dork, seriously, the comment where I mentioned that I am married is like 60000 comments PAGES behind. What? Now you ashamed of losing your, I mean I can say that I am your first right? That I am going to stick my MANFLESH into your CHERRY AND POP IT RIGHT? JUST TRYING TO BE SUBTLE HERE! Seriously though, Your name is really Tifa? And you look a FUCKING HELL A LOT Like Tifa From Final Fantasy... You know, except she has gigantic feet and no lips and you know...

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Q:Whats worse, being chased by a chainsaw or being dunked on by LeBron James? A:Since a chainsaw has one of the sharpest metal blades know to mankind, it would be the chainsaw. Although this reguires effort, it is a known fact that Lebron James has been dunked on by some kid at Xaiver, so I would think the chainsaw would hurt more.

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why did rosa parks get moved to the back of the bus? she didnt call shotgun

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How did the polack burn his hands on the stove? He placed his hands on the hot stove top burners not realizing they were hot.

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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why didnt the man go to the wedding? he wasnt invited.

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What did one door say to the other door? Nothing, cause doors don't talk.

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what are you your not a human? are you an other?

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Listen Nero, you consider us like friends too right?

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Q) How many boring people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) One

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whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

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Mamma why did the kids make fun of me today? I dont know.

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Why are black people like jelly beans? Nobody likes the black ones

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Q: How could the black man afford to buy a TV? A: He had a well-paying job and a supporting family.

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If your Jewish, then don't go to Germany.

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Why did Jerry Sandusky rape little boys? Because his penis was hard and he needed to get his nut off quick

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among liedbtt is my Captcha code

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way do Japan bomb pearl harbor because America hat sex with China [watch Hetalia]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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