yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

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Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

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Songs can be interpreted in many different ways you know: "Whenever, Wherever" - Prostitution "You raise me up" could be an advert for Viagra; And as for "love is in the air" - masturbating from a rooftop comes to mind. [L]

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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Why does the Batman theme song have 'na na na na na na na na' in it so many times? I guess Batman really likes sodium. Or maybe his record player's broken.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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A black man walked into a bar. He cashed in big on workers comp.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Who the f*** let out the chicken

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Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

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What did the clock say to the book? I have no batteries.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him he ain't gonna come.

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What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

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Knock Knock Who's there? Just open the damn door.

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So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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roses are black violets are black i am blind

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When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops