Why was the boy crying? His parents were brutally burned to death in a fiery car accident.

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Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

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An american family is picknicking on the bottom of the ocean. They are eating french fries, big mac's, chicken mc nuggets and drinking coca cola, some slurpies too, all purchased at the local mac donalds near lyndon blvd, in chevy chase near that weird house with the toothless lady that always smiles and then all of a sudden frowns at you, often wearing either a dark green or mint green dress. Spongebob squarepants comes drifting by dead in circular pants and little Sally, their youngest daughter asks a question, which cannot be heard because they're underwater.

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What did the Brontosaurus say to the Triceratops? Nothing. Neither of them have ever existed.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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what is 2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2-2+2x0 20

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What's worse than dying of boredom? ...Being stabbed.

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Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have 2 legs

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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KKK: Hey i was just comming over here to invite you to a church gathering me and my buddies are having later on tonight, and afterwards we are going to have a big bon-fire to fire up our spirits. Black guy: OK sounds great. White people sure are nice now-a-days.

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Roses are red, violetes are red, I'm colorblind

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

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Whats worse than being rapped by a giant scorpion. Being gangbanged by a couple giant scorpions

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find the o 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duh its up top

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Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock, knock Who's there? Lemon Lemon who? Lemon know if you want me to say apple again

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a jew, a muslim and a christian all walk into a bar; because of the difference in religion im afraid such an event is unlikely to occur in the future.

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why are the Harold and Kumar movies really funny? the man who wrote obvieusly has a good sense of humor.

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What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

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To momma's missing so many teeth it looks like her tongues in jail

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What's the difference between a bird and a wheel? They both fly, I lied about the wheel.

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops