There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

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Executioner: Would you like to make a statement? Mr Murderer: Yes, I would love to sing a song. Executioner: Very well. Begin. Mr Murderer: There were 6 billion in the bed, and the little one said roll over, roll over. So they all rolled over and one fell out...

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roses are red violets are blue corey mills is and got raped by you

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Knock knock. *Silence Knock knock *silence Knock knock *Silence KNOCK KNOCK. *Silence (Busts open door) Oh right I murdered Billy a week ago

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What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

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??????????? ??????????????? "Hello, idiot teacher! You eat milk."

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

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who is gay wit mon james cornish

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? A: Because he got hit by a bus.

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bologna

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he suffered severe blood loss and is most likely dead.

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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what are three short words? i a am

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What do you call a prostitute with morals? Ironic.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

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Why did the football player walk so funny? He went to Penn State!

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

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What's worse than finding a holocaust in your apple? A worm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops