I viewed the terms of service and did not agree to them.

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Your mom is so poor she can't afford to buy herself nice things.

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Why can Michael Jackson no longer moonwalk? because he's dead.

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why couldn't jonny ride on a swing? he had no arms or legs why didn't jonny have any arms or legs? he's a potato!

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Knock Knock........wait there cars gone, I'll come back later

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Are you still trying to turn me on or something? Well its not not working. Anyway, what is yogurt? So I am eating dead bacteria here? Ifs so strange I feel like I have known you my entire life.

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Q: why was the man punched in the face? A: I did like him.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What do you call a guy named Bob hanging by a string? Plum Bob

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Why did the black guy buy a jug of grape soda Because he was thirsty

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What is the name of the mermaid on the Starbucks logo? No one knows, she ran away many years ago of shame. It's undiscovered why.

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Your mother is so fat because she inherited poor genes and dietary habits from her own parents.

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What do you get when you cross a dead monkey, a chair fitted with wheels for use as a means of transport by a person, Isaac Newton & the creator of the website? Stephen Hawking.

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Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

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how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

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Yo mama is so fat, she needs to get serious about her diet, or else she might die of some sort of weight related issue.

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Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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A naked man walks into a bar and is promptly arrested for indecent exposure.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse begins bucking wildly, injuring three patrons before breaking through the front door.

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Whats the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

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knock knock whos there banana banana who knock knock whos there orange orange who orange you glad I didn't say banana

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Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

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What's big, white, and red all over? A refrigerator that happened to fall on a small child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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