In 2030, what will most people be doing for a living? Using food stamps.

A psychotic man steals a Police Officer's handgun, the man runs down the street. What happened? He fell in a hole and died.

What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus is? Trying not to laugh.

Why couldn't the cat drink the milk? Because it had no face.

Q: whats worse than finding out you failed an exam? A: finding out you where Hitler in a past life

what would happen if every overweight person in america jumped at the same time? they would all get a little exercise.

Maroon 5 to a bitch: Cross my heart and hope to die... wait why don't i just kill you bitch!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

A circus clown climbs to the top of a five-storey ladder and dives into a foot-deep pool of water below. His neck is broken on impact. RIP Chuckles.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw 'em.

There once was a man from Nantucket, he was a very nice person and had many friends.

Why did the man hang himself? Because his pistol misfired.

What did Harry Potter say when he lost his wand? Where's my wand?

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

Is your refrigerator running? If so, you are on drugs, and should see help.

How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

A: How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Q: None! They shouldn't have to...

How do you make a person who wins the lottery sad? You threaten to kill his family.

Roses are read Vliolets are bloo I cant spell How about you

What happens when Helen Keller plays badminton? She doesn't win because she threw out her back playing Ultimate Frisbee the weekend prior.

What do grass and deer have in common? They're both green I lied about the deer

What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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