How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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What did the Chinese man say to the Japanese man Nothing as they have never met

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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What do you put your key on? A key chain.

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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kkkk

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

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What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

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Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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what do you call a Nice Nazi A Nazi... He's still a Nazi.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are pink Daisys are white

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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SUCK MY NUTS

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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Why did the blond fall down? She died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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