if i have 2 bananas, and you have 2 bananas, then together we have 4 bananas what are the chances?

What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

Q: What was Steve Jobs' last words before he died? A: I Think i might die.

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

Why is Blake dumb? He was in algebra one as a freshman. And his nickname is angry Blake

How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

A can walks into a bar...HAHAHAHA JK LOL thats not possible! What was I thinking? Silly me! -David Bruggen

What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "cum" on your face.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? jhdfsuigtreyuiertfguiryhg

Ebola

Have you seen Steve Wonder's house? No. It's okay, neither has he.

Why did Anna fall off her bike? She had no arms. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Anna.

Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

What do you call a black elephant? An elephant.

What did the black man eat at a picnic? I don't know, I wasn't there.

Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

Whats the difference between a falcon and a deer? both live in water, except for the falcon... oh, and the deer.

A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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