What do you call a woman in a kitchen ? There rightful place.

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whats hairy and crys your mom

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What are three things an average teenager cannot live without? Oxygen, Food, and Water. Duh.

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Whats the difference between a Dodo and an Elephant? They're both extinct. Excluding the elephant

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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Ok class, we are doing arts and crafts today, but remember, have fun and be creative... Thats what she said

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Why couldn't the mentally retarded kid hear? It was too dark.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because colonel sanders was chasing it with an axe

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Betty White's wrinkly ass skin.

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What do you call a Mexican kicking a ball? A soccer player

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What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

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What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

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Q: Why was the mexican mowing the lawn? A: Because the grass was too tall

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In the movie "Sherlock Holmes". Why is Sherlock Holmes gay???? Because he was chasing "Blackwood".

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I'm homeless.

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Simon: Knock Knock Alfredo: Who's there? Simon: Wire Alfredo: Wire Who SImon? Simon: Wire are you asking me this!!!!

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Knock knock stop knocking you idiot, it's the 21st century

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He is seriously pissed off about being repeatedly subjected to this level of intense interrogation. Do you ask other animals why they chase their tails or claw at dirt? Do people ask you why you run when you're late? How would you like to have every move you made transformed into some cliche, old farce? There's a road, he's a chicken, there are only so many possible outcomes.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: She was going to speek at a PETA meeting about the cruel conditions of chicken farms. I hit her with my car

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daughter: Mum why do I have a brother mum: He not your real brother dont worry your adopted :) daughter: :'(

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There were three brothers. Big, Harry and Dick. They were walking along the road and were all instantly killed by a drunk driver. Their names were never mentioned and their story was used as a promotion for the seriousness of drunk driving and should not be taken lightly.

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knock knock? whose there? i dont know. i dont know who? i dont know.

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Sad reality is that, you have a tab open just for ponies don't you?

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops