Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a clown, and clowns are scary.

99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 10 minutes into the song one man succumbs to alcohol poisoning.

why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He had no guts

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

I hate when people see me at the store and are like "What are you doing here??" and Im just like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants..."

If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

Two peanuts walk down the street. One was a salted.

ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?!?! Neither has he

Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

What is the worst joke ever? This one.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was shot in the head. Plus the fact that it was his first attempt on a bike made it highly unlikely to succeed anyway.

What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

Obama lin Baden.

why did the chicken cross the road because on the other side his wife that he had loved for years was being tortured and he was trying to save her life.

How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

Knock knock Who's there? The chicken that crossed the road

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? gloves.

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He who laughs last...is not a laughing owl because they're extinct.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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