How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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knock knock. "who's there?" dick. "dick who?" dick ferns.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im tired Cheese on toast

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And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

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What did Jeff do to the bench? He sat on it

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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Why is the spine-tailed swift is the fastest bird? Because its faster than the second fastest bird

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I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

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Anti pick up line: Boy: If I could re arrange the letters I would put U and I together. Girl: Oh really because if I could rearrange the letters I would put F and U together By Adam Chebali

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What's the difference between a book. A tree's leaves hit the trash cans

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Why did the man have no head? It was blown off in Iraq 2 and days ago

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What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

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Pretty vague, if I did not know you, Id conclude you where working for some mob syndicate or something.

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girl. have you seen my duck man. yes he is with me right now girl rely you have him man. yes in my diner girl. d.i.c.k. man.f u

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Your mom is so fat she is larger then the average person.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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yo mamma so fat she should probably look into a clinical weight loss program and exercise daily.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Did you hear the one about the girl who had three nipples? Neither did I.

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While running away a burgular cut his hand on a piece of glass. He fell to the ground bleeding like crazy. What did the police say when he saw the burgular? You've been caught red handed.

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Why did my bed broke? Becaus i had sex with your mom!

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THE LOVE SHACK IS A LITTLE OLD PLACE WHERE WE CAN GET TOGETHER!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unbeknownst to the farmer, the pen holding the chickens inside the farm had fallen due to bad weather. The chicken unknowingly wandered onto the road nearby. Thankfully it was rescued some minutes later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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