Q: What kind of punch do vampires drink ? A: None... It's really blood, you should know that by now.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An even better question is why are the chicken morals being questioned every time it feels like doing something.

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What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

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A man told his wife to go make him a sandwich. She said no.

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Why did the man with no arms fall of his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him

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poop nuff said

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roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What do you call an obese kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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I have a red ferrari and 20 dead babies in my garage. Didn't I have a blue ferrari?

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How did the newborn baby come out of a man? It was ejaculated as a sperm from his testicles

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How do you make a baby cry Throw a brick at its face

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Is your refrigerator running? yeah oh...just wondering.

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What's just not right? Left

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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What's worse than bombs? Nukes

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Why did the the dog not eat its food? Because the night before the dog had gotten serious disease and lost appetite

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What did the black boy find on his doorstep A package from his grandparents in Australia

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Yo mama is so fat that she is in a diet and wants to lose weight by eating healthy.

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what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

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What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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