Hey, guess what. What? ... Hello? Sorry, I don't talk to strangers.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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i know you talk the talk but can you talk the talk

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A man is unemployed, ugly, short, fat, smelly and stupid. That's what she said.

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yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally Why can't Sally finish her ice cream She has no arms How do you fit Sally into a box? Put her in a blender. How do you get her out? A straw.

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wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

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what is the worst thing to find out about for wife she is your arm

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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What's blue, wriggles around, and sits in a corner? A dying baby in a plastic bag. What's green, doesn't wriggle around, and sits in a corner? A Christmas tree. The current homeowners were never made aware of the atrocity committed by the previous occupants.

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Q. why did the black man cross the road? A. Cause there is no law saying he cant

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Why did the boy get diagnosed with Cancer? I don't remember I have Alzheimers.

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What do you call a duck who votes democrat? A duck

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How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

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Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

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Knock Knock! Who's There! That's right! And now for our next song: "Magic Bus!" One TwoThree Four.....

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Why are blondes so dumb? They aren't dumb they just have prejudice against them

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What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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What's worse than a dog peeing on your new flower garden? A terrorist attack.

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So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops