11/9 Americans won't get this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worst than dropping your watch into the gutter? Waking up with a penis on your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why couldn't the surgeon perform surgery? Because he was in court being sued due to the fact that he administered too much anesthesia to a patient, who later died of overdose..

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between a Jewish child and pizza? Pizza does not scream in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the best thing about Windows OS? It's very versatile and can run a wide selection of programs, tools, and games.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many tickles can you give an octopus? Ten tickles

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his failing marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What does a jew to enter in a movie theater? He buys a ticket!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the man say to the orphan? No one loves you, you have no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man offered a little boy a ride home. He drove the boy home where his father preceeded to beat him senseless.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A stripper walks into a bar. She works there.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it slipped from his hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a bar, He is a severe alcoholic and is slowly drowning himself in booze. The man exits the bar after several hours of heavy drinking and walks home. He enters his home to discover a man in bed with his wife. After the first ten seconds of paralyzing rage, he grabs a .44 Magnum and brutally murders his wife and her bed mate. The man realizes he has woken up his two month old, and after thinking of the horrible act he has committed, he promptly raises the pistol to his temple and pulls the trigger. Oh, I almost forgot, the man was schizophrenic and has never been married.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is a Zebra? Zebras (/?z?br?/ zeb-r? or /?zi?br?/ zee-br?)[1] are several species of African equids (horse family) united by their distinctive black and white stripes. Their stripes come in different patterns, unique to each individual. They are generally social animals that live in small harems to large herds. Unlike their closest relatives, horses and donkeys, zebras have never been truly domesticated.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw some pandas spooning.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats white and big and white? alot of things...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats funnier than a barrel full of dead babies? two barrels full of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's Great and Danish? The Great Dane Kane.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops