Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I just found out my wife has cervical cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Today is jessica's birthday and she is turnig 6 She walks in the living room to tell her dad its her birthday. Jessica"Dad, Dad guess how old i am today!" Dad "How old?" Jessica"6 dad im am 6". she walks into the kitchen to tell her Grandad Jessica" papa papa guess how old i am today" Grandad"Well for me to know this you would have to take of your panties" as he tells her she did as she was told. her grandad fingers her and smells her panties. He tells her "You are 6 today" Jessica"How did you know" Grandad"I listen as you told your dad in the dinning room".

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Three muffins are walking next to each other in the dessert. The muffin on the right says "Hey now it's my turn to walk in the middle!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how much blondes does it take to fix a light bulb 1 to buy the bulb 2 to put it up and 25 to think about what it does

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police, your entire family died in a car accident. ... ... The police, your entire family died in a car accident who?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whos best at KS3 irish and is sexy? tiarnan i lied about the sexy part

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you not want to call a african american that begins with an N and ends with an R? A Neighbor!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is better then fisting? Fisting with a metal studded glove

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

thumb_up thumb_down +10

nothing drews nose is f**ing hilarious

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A JESSE? Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I dig, you dig, we dig, they dig, he digs, she digs, everybody digs. Guys, it's not a very profound poem, but it's deep.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops