I'm currently on a seafood diet That is, I only eat seafood.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

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Whats the difference between anti-jokes and regular jokes? A Fridge full of dead babies being thrown at a black man with no arms or legs swinging from a tree.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

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How do you get Pikachu onto a bus? You ask him politely.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because Suzie was a cucumber.

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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Daniel G. Likes to perve on the boys in the locker room. Change quick guys!

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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your mother is so fat that she probably watches her calorie intake every day

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How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

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Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

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What did the Mexican man say to the black man? Hello, how are you today?

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What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

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What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

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Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

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A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing, but he did purchase whiskey with the little money he had to drink away his misery, and to suppress his suicidal thoughts that were a result of his alcoholism which stemmed from his father's abusive nature.

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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