Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house... Knock, knock Who's there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why was the kid sitting in a wooden chair? Because at the early age of four he was diagnosed with cancer and genital warts!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

how do you make a baby cry? you throw a brick at it's face!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the fridge fall off its bike? Because someone threw a little girl at it.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did one lawyer say to the other? Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yo mammas so fat you know what, i think she might die!!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Burp

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So A guy named Larry walks into a bar and says, Where is your couch?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

You know what's worse than having friends with a lake houses Not being invited to their lake house...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

thumb_up thumb_down +7

"what did the priest say to the rabbi?" "what" "my religions better

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your mamas so fat, that any level of physical exercise is strenuous, but also mentally challenging, as she feels that there is a negative astigmatism attached to sweaty, red-faced overweight individuals trying to burn those pounds. This in turn makes her ashamed of the gastronomically decadent life she once lived, and so she doesn't have the confidence to try and reverse the damage she did during those insecure teenage years, instead comforting herself with the sugary, fatty bane of her life. She therefore lives in a vicious circle, angry at herself and the society that won't accept her. But remaining incredibly, repulsively fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Songs can be interpreted in many different ways you know: "Whenever, Wherever" - Prostitution "You raise me up" could be an advert for Viagra; And as for "love is in the air" - masturbating from a rooftop comes to mind. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Wanna know way i don't eat grapes? I hate Grapes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops