Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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This would be racist to black people if they could read.

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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How do you eat a candy cane? Shove it in your mouth and chew.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

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Only steers and queers come from Texas and i dont see any horns on you so what does that mean? It means I am not a Minotaur.

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What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses walk into a bar and sit down at a table. They glare at each other for a moment before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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My girlfriend reckons that a small penis shouldn't affect our sex life. She may be right, but I'd prefer it if she didn't have one.

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Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

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What has two legs and oinks? Half a pig.

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-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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Roses are red, my name is Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave

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A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

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I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

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If a tree falls on a woman, and no one is around to hear it, what is a tree doing in the kitchen?

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ok

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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