Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

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What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's white and sticky? A stick painted white.

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What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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What did the cracker say to the cheese? You're so cheesy.

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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Knock knock Go fuck yourself

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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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I started writing poetry the other day: POETR That's coming along nicely.

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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asdasdasdasd

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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hi little boy you want some candy i dont know do you want some candy you creeper

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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