A woman stopped making sandwiches.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's the most confusing day in the ghetto? Fathers day.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What is worse than writing a really terrible joke on anti-joke.com? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Hey I just banged you, and it was crazy, delete my number, and keep the baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

thumb_up thumb_down +34

- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +34

what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

thumb_up thumb_down +32

all your base are belong to mark

thumb_up thumb_down +32

FUS RO DAH!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why didn't the Hispanic die in the bus explosion? Because he was at home playing with his children when it happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the man go to Lourdes Because he has lost all hope

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops