- Anti Joke

Want to hear what's totally out of this world? Not wasting a whole page of space for something that doesn't even vaguely resemble a joke. [L]

Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

Knock Knock. Who's there? Charles. Charles who? It's your brother Charles. I came straight here from the doctor. I was just diagnosed with stage 4 testicular cancer.

What did one traffic light say to the other? Nothing, as traffic lights are incapable of thought as they are not living.

I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

She look like Ms. Universe and I'm bout to be in that black hole

An alien just ate your family and all of the things you love

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? monkey see monkey do why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? it lost its footing why did the girl fall down? she was hit by four monkeys and a refridgerator

Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

How do you kill Osama Bin Laden? Get The Navy Seals To Infiltrate his compound.

Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because his weekend was busy!

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Dogta I don got da aids yeah? Well Sigh... Man I am so sorry, I got the positive, and the uh.. Good news... Whats the good news? I hate you! Whats the positive news? You dont have teh aids.

The horse walks into the bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" the horse looks at him and says, "my wife just died."

Why was the man wearing all white? He was a part of the Ku Klux Kan.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it doesn't have the capacity for rational thought and decision-making and was subsequently hit by a car.

No because your face is really f***** up.

Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs waterskiing? Skip

whats the difference between a black guy and pizza? a pizza can feed a family.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Someone left the gate open.

Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

What Did The Farmer Say When He Lost His Tractor.... "Wheres My Tractor"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops