What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, oceans don't have hands to wave either

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

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I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

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Why did Fred fall off the bike? He was a shoe.

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A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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A man walks in to a bar. Ouch.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

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Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

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What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

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How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

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Does an albino chameleon turn different shades of white?

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What is green and drives around in the desert and is not a tank? secretly a tank

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A Haiku It Is This One Is Kind Of Boring Now It's Time For Bed

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It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? I just said it was Steve

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How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

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Dont be racist be like mario he is an italian who looks like a mexican speaks english and picks up coins like a jew.

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a man walks into a bar... he was then shot to death because he was a slave in the early 1800s

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Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He has no legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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