why did rosa parks get moved to the back of the bus? she didnt call shotgun

thumb_up thumb_down -15

69

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Doctor: I'm gunna try to fit your illness into an everyday, normal conversation. Is that okay? Patient: okay. Doctor: how are you? Patient: fine... Doctor: that's weird.. Because you have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I once went to a chiropractor. She was so awful looking. You know those weird spiky fish with the lightbulb hanging off it's head? .....I saw one in a documentary once.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red Violets are blue Goodbye to the people who hated on me

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Simon says, "I'll give you a five second head start before I mow you down with my AK47."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you torture a turtle? If you came up with an answer to that question you are completely and utterly unethical and immoral.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Yo momma's so stupid, she got a moderately low score on her SATs, and sadly, was not excepted by any colleges she applied to, and never got a job. This is why she became depressed, and resorted to suicide to escape the growing pain.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a boy with no arms or legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

You were born.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a girl with ADD and too much free time? Me

thumb_up thumb_down -15

So this drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later she has a misscarrage

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Mike Davis from across the street. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down -15

theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

penisvaginaorgasm

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Boy: what to hear a joke? girl: sure. Boy: woman rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the big refrigerator fall down the cheese Because i licked my own ear and it got scared and cheese for no raiSOnsD

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops