How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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A muslim walks into a gun shop

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what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for x-mas a bike

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your mama is so fat, she sat on the ipod touch and made the ipad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you look closely, it's not a chicken, it's a man wearing a costume. He's going to a halloween party with some friends. Sally was not invited.

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What do you call a child that has been stabbed? A dead child

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su algato es en fuego

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What did the Jew say to the German? Yes I would like fries with that.

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Roses are yellow Daisies are purple Tv drinks yes Why swing the door

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wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your son just died of terroristic bombing.

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What does a vegetarian eat? colored penis

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An Asian with a big dick.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -George. -George Who? -George Carpenter, Remember? We were in the same class in third grade. -Come on in!

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

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It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

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Where did Wendy decide to work for her part time job? TACO BELL

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What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Lets go get some tacos.

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What do you call a black man doing his taxes? A well respected member of society

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How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? None, any dog aware of the situation would kindly inform its owner.

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I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor, beause he was feeling really crumby...becuase he has testicular cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops