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Doctor: I'm gunna try to fit your illness into an everyday, normal conversation. Is that okay? Patient: okay. Doctor: how are you? Patient: fine... Doctor: that's weird.. Because you have AIDS

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What do you call two black men sitting on the porch? Craig and Smokey

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Simon says, "I'll give you a five second head start before I mow you down with my AK47."

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Yo momma's so stupid, she got a moderately low score on her SATs, and sadly, was not excepted by any colleges she applied to, and never got a job. This is why she became depressed, and resorted to suicide to escape the growing pain.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Your mom is so ugly that she had self-esteem problems and severe depression as a teenager due to merciless bullying due to her looks, however she overcame this, found a man who loved her for who she was, and then married him. She now lives a happy life.

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A: go away. B: No i won't A: Shutup B: Yes i will not go away A: again, shutup B: I left A: Thank you B: Your welcom A: Thank you for saying your welcome B: Thank you for saying thank you that i'm welcome A: Thank you for saying thank you for saying that I thank you that you're welcome.

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I once went to a chiropractor. She was so awful looking. You know those weird spiky fish with the lightbulb hanging off it's head? .....I saw one in a documentary once.

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Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

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My girlfriend gave me her first ever blowjob last night. I came in her mouth and she washed it down with a can of Carling. Obviously she had to get that horrible taste out of her mouth, so she gave me another blowjob.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -George. -George Who? -George Carpenter, Remember? We were in the same class in third grade. -Come on in!

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your son just died of terroristic bombing.

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your mama is so fat, she sat on the ipod touch and made the ipad.

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An Asian with a big dick.

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A muslim walks into a gun shop

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su algato es en fuego

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Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

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What do you call a child that has been stabbed? A dead child

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

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It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

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What did the Jew say to the German? Yes I would like fries with that.

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What does a vegetarian eat? colored penis

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Roses are yellow Daisies are purple Tv drinks yes Why swing the door

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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