Bum: Excuse me, can you spare some change? Rich man: No

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what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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My mother has chlamydia. That's it.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where did my tractor go.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the penguin say to the peacock? Die, you homosexual!

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Q. What happened to the girl who locked her keys in her car? A. I raped her.

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What's worse than finding a baby in a dumpster? Being late on your taxes

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A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

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Knock Knock The homeowner's acquaintance had called him just minutes prior because he had forgotten something at his house. With this having occurred, the homeowner had a strong sense of who was at the door. Being a cautious person however, he checked his prediction by examining the man through the door's peephole. Having asserted that it was what he had in mind, the homeowner opened the door and handed him some papers that were of importance to the acquaintance.

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A sloth walked into the dentists he was confused

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Why didn't Jesus like Pizza? Because Pizza doesn't exist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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How did the Jew survive the Holocaust? Trick question he didn't

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What is red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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I have a meeting with a man about a horse. I have a chance to win the triple crown. Barboro is gonna do awesome. Oh wait he is dead.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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What do Vladimir Putin and a snake have in common? A central nervous system, to name but one of the many biological similarities.

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A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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what do you call your mama at the gas station

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Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go play on our bikes.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops