Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

How Do You Fart Eat Beans

Why are black people good at basketball? Because they train hard and practice daily.

Dead girls can't say no.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

Why do Asians get 50% off on movies? They don't.

Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

george goodburn is secretly mexican

If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your Uncle jackoff an elephant? Probably not because it would take more than 3 hands to jack off an elephant P.S. Your Uncle Jack only has 1 hand. Your uncle was on a swing and a clown cut off his hand with an ax

What did the barber say to Chewbacca? DAAAAAAYYYYUUUUMMMM!!!

Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

Why was everyone afraid of Nick Morton? Because he had AIDS

so your snowboarding in the dessert and all four of your tires pop. how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house. the answer is B. 500 squids

Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

What do u call a bunch of white dudes siting on a bench ......the NBA

Have you heard about the awesome farmer? He was outstanding in his field. -ymda

*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Would you mind turning your music down a bit please? I have reports to write."

What's the difference between a bag full of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

Where's the best place to gather black people to roleplay as prison victims for a documentary? Prison or the Graveyard.

A blonde, a brunnette, and a red head all jump from the top of a building. They all land at the same time because of Newton's 3rd Law

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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