Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

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A paper cut is a tree's last revenge.

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

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How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A Stick!

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" Want to hear a good anti-joke?! " " Sure! " " Me too. "

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why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

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Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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What's blue and smells like red paint? That blue guy from Megamind.

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "why the long face?". the horse answers..."i'm a horse"

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Hi, Steve!

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Why did the boy fall down the stairs? Because he tripped.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, you murdered ten people.

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your mama so fat she has a low self esteem

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? One is a vegetable and the other is a human being.

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Q: Whats the difference between porno and your mom? A: I can masturbate to porno

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What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

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A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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