What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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What do you call 10,000 lawyers jumping off a cliff? Mass suicide

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

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Your mamma's so dumb, she's had problems functioning in society, due to illiteracy problems, and a general incomprehension of her surroundings and own thoughts.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

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why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

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how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

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A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

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What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter on the street? A very nice man because a homeless man just dropped that and he was trying to return it. Rob W

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because the Nazis were on the brink of losing the war and Berlin was shortly to be captured by Soviet forces.

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What is better then fisting? Fisting with a metal studded glove

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Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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What kind of drug did the cops catch the alligator with? None. They were going to use a tranquiliser dart, but SPCA intervened and simply held the alligator's mouth shut while they loaded it into a secure cage.

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Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

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whats the difference between a thousand dead babies and a porshe? i dont have a porshe in my garage

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Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

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Whats better than sex? Not dying. Ha

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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