A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "What'll it be?" The duck says that he should get his doctor on the phone because his hullucinations are getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

ask me if i am a tree. no.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the Albino say to the other albino? Due to heredity and our inheritance of Chromosomes causing albinism, We could be displaced in society but luckily, we have eachother. They went home and lived happily. But not ever after. That craps or normal people. (freaking albinos...)

thumb_up thumb_down -12

you know what? CHICKEN BUTT. butt of chicken ahahahaa

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

HEY WATCH OUT FOR THAT TRUCK! What truck? Weird I could have sworn I saw a truck...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many black babies fit in a garbage can? It depends on the capacity of the garbage can.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what did the cashier do when a Mexican robbed the store? call the police

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken die? Because it was crossing a busy road.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

wow i bet grass is lucky on st patricks day. why? becuase its green all year. *smacks* ow. i kno. but hey im corn.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what's white, sits around all day, and sucks on tits? a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

you see theres this guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man bets that his friend can't drink five beers in a row. His friend does it and says "See, I told you I can do it!" The man replies "No, I can't see, I'm blind."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Give me time to think of a joke hm..............hm.................hm....................hm....................mmm....................hm?..........................m m.....................mmmmm..............hm...................hm.....................hm......................... ah!i don't want to think of a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -12

So a dolphin is dropped off at a park and dies because he was out of the water to long.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did the chicken cross the road? regardless of the fact his job at kfc was there, he felt that exercise was need to work off is thighs

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man goes into a bar and gets drunk. He realizes that he is too drunk to drive and calls a cab to bring him home.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

"Everyone be very quite. Dont say a word or well get eaten by the big, fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "A word or well get eaten by the big fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "Look how clever Charles is now were all screwed."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

a terrorist walks into a bank and says "gimme all the money or ill kill you" the bank owner said you and what army the terrorist said this army and no one came in buuuut he opened hi jacket and there was a bomb straped to him then he exploded it Buuuuuuut in hell he thinks hang on a minute i didn't get my money oh for goodness sake Buuuuuuuuuuut in heaven the bank man said i still live in a wonderfull place and anywhay we had no money left and i was going to suiside soooooooooooooooooooooooo you done me a favour and if i would of suiside i could of gone to hell but you killed me so i edidnt go to hell buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut you did lol by the way i just wasted your time

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops