why did the kids pull the fire alarm? because there was a fire.

What's the best way to suprise your friend? Shove a banana up his ass.

Once i tried to do math ! She wasn't getting wet so i stopped!

Tommy got neutered.

Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: my red painted d*ck

I used to be an adventurer like you. But then I retired and started a family.

Why did hitler kill the Jews? Because he had sever mental illnesses and anyone who thinks the holocaust is funny deserves to die a slow death.

why was one black guy surrounded by ten white guys...... he was a story teller.

What does a cookie and the twin towers have in common? They both crumble.

Ham sandwich

A: Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? B: Not really. This is an interesting fact. Any other facts you have? A: yes ("A" was lying)

a older brother and a lil brother have bunk beds, one night the older brother has his gf sneak over, they are going to have sex. he tells his gf, "say lettace for a new positon and say tomato for stop", they start and she screams, "lettace, tomato, lettace, tomato". then the lil brother says " will you guys stop making salad, ur getting mayonase all over my face!!!!"

How many ants are in the kitchen? None. We killed them all.

Roses are red bullets are led if you don't take me back now i'll shoot you in the head!

Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

Why did the little boy fall down the stairs? I pushed 'em.

Shut up max im not fucking demented u dickhead

What did the cow say to the dog? Moo

I played the spoon game. In a white neighborhood.

What do you do when you're surrounded by 15 vampires and 15 werewolves? Stop pretending.

What is black and has no education A tire.

Q: what is the most confusing day in the ghetto? A: fathers Day

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...