- Anti Joke

whats the diffrence between madeline macan and a submarine? there isnt one there both at the bottom of the sea and full of seaman

Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

Knock, Knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible because orange's can't talk. Oh. It's Jim, I need to borrow your lawnmower.

What's worse than swing a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

here's my two cents worth! hands you two pennies , entire life savings

james hedge is gay did you know if you look at him you turn gay

What did the twin towers order from the pizzeria? Two large Plane

telll someone to ask u if u are a tree then say nooooooo

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? ...Because he was buried in a churchyard.

"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

Wow, fuzzy feelings, you just made my top 10.000 friends list. Jk, you my favorite girl right now, I mean my wife is always my favorite, but the kind of love I feel for you, is a completely different kind of love, I consider it the sum of who you are, and I cant say I love you the same, because it is a completely different feeling. Wow, I cant believe I am typing this on horsehead network, by the way Red, you better get out of here, or I am going to have to shut your operations down, sorry for getting serious in the middle of this, but we can meet and be friends, if you promise to take good care of my new friend (you), but getting out of this site, you and your crew. So, sex whenver you feel like and friends for life? How does that sound? I prefer long term agreements.

One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Smoke Day, Every Weed.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia So do I

What do you call a secret agent that lives in a bottle of washing up liquid? Bubble-0-7

A Haiku It Is This One Is Kind Of Boring Now It's Time For Bed

You know why Michael J. Fox makes really good milkshakes? ... because he uses the best ingredients

Women are only good for two things... Being raped and being raped in the ass.

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese.

Once upon a time, The end.

2 gays monkeys walk into a bar.........

What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

What word starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? Fuck.

whats the diffrence between madeline macan and a submarine? there isnt one there both at the bottom of the sea and full of seaman

Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

Knock, Knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible because orange's can't talk. Oh. It's Jim, I need to borrow your lawnmower.

What's worse than swing a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

here's my two cents worth! hands you two pennies , entire life savings

james hedge is gay did you know if you look at him you turn gay

What did the twin towers order from the pizzeria? Two large Plane

telll someone to ask u if u are a tree then say nooooooo

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? ...Because he was buried in a churchyard.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Smoke Day, Every Weed.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia So do I

What do you call a secret agent that lives in a bottle of washing up liquid? Bubble-0-7

A Haiku It Is This One Is Kind Of Boring Now It's Time For Bed

You know why Michael J. Fox makes really good milkshakes? ... because he uses the best ingredients

Women are only good for two things... Being raped and being raped in the ass.

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese.

Once upon a time, The end.

2 gays monkeys walk into a bar.........

What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

What word starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? Fuck.

whats the diffrence between madeline macan and a submarine? there isnt one there both at the bottom of the sea and full of seaman

Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

Knock, Knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible because orange's can't talk. Oh. It's Jim, I need to borrow your lawnmower.

What's worse than swing a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

here's my two cents worth! *hands you two pennies , entire life savings*

james hedge is gay did you know if you look at him you turn gay

What did the twin towers order from the pizzeria? Two large Plane

telll someone to ask u if u are a tree then say nooooooo

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? ...Because he was buried in a churchyard.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

here's my two cents worth! hands you two pennies , entire life savings