What do you get when you take a bag of chips and divide it by 5? a Nike store worker's meal

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How do you kill a blonde? Tell her she can breath underwater.

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Q. What did Nelson say to his men before they boarded ship? A. "Board ship men"

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Why didn't Susie's dad come home on time? He was dragged into a dark alley, then stabbed in the eye. When his body was found 2 days later, Susie couldnt stand the loss and hung herself the day after her father was found.

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So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

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An automobile mechanic busted an engine fuse. A prostitute had oral sex with a Marine. An Inuit hunter detonated a sea mammal with TNT. What do they all have in common? They all blew a seal.

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roses are red violets are blue i killed your family

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One kid says I've had threw bottles of water and I haven't had to go to the bathroom. His friend says may have a urinary tract infection.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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The horse walks into the bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" the horse looks at him and says, "my wife just died."

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whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked: "Why the long face?" The horse said: "My wife just died."

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When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

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What's worse than eating poop for your whole life? Nothing really, you've got serious problems if you have another option...

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What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

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Why did the little girl fall to death? Because pigs can't fly. It's impossible.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trash can 1 baby in 10 trash cans

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Ubisoft 'Very Impressed' By Pokemon Go, Working on AR game of their own.

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

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What do you call a purple apple? Bruised.

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Knock knock Who's there Fookie Fookie Who? Fook you too

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whats funnier than womens rights? ottos weight

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What's worse than a black guy? Two black guys....and a dead white man.

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Knock knock It's open, come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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