What do you call a boy with no arms and legs? Simply a pillow

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Fucked up quotes: "When walking trough hell, keep going!" (I just turn back and walk the other way thank you, I mean worst case I walk trough heaven right?" "Never give up, ever ever ever ever ever..." (Ill just end it with etc because I gave up something as hard as... Typing?) "Curiosity killed the cat" (Translated: "Curiosity kills, stay inside forever" What?)

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Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

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Your mom is so fat, that last night after reading and edition of Cosmo, she skipped dinner and cried herself to sleep due to her inability to live up to such an unrealistic feminine stereotype.

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why did the Mexican take $20, because he found it on the ground

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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A Man Gets Cancer He eventually Loses all his hair and drops dead

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor? Because she had no arms or legs.

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How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

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Why can't Amy Winehouse sing? She's dead.

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it smells like up dog in here. whats that?

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Why was the black man running? he was participating in race for the cure, a charity event where all proceeds go to breast cancer awareness.

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what do an elephant and a mouse have in common? nothing

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how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

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why did jimmy fall of of the tractor? Because he is a potato

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers, Delphiniums are also blue.

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Roses are crimson. Violets are purple. I don't understand why this poem is so popular.

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An orange walks into a bar....orange you glad I didn't say banana?!?!

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Guess what? What? You guessed correctly.

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a man dropped a bar of soap in the shower. He immediately picked it up and finished washing himself. He then got dressed and left the gym.

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What's worse than kissy face pictures on facebook? The porn pictures on facebook.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Why did Lou Gehrig die from? ALS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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