well now

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse replies: "my wife has terminal cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

thumb_up thumb_down +31

they told me not to write here but i did

thumb_up thumb_down +29

how do you know if your friend is your best friend? if he cries you cry, if he laughs you laughs, if he jumps out a window you laugh again.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +29

OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

thumb_up thumb_down +29

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Tony Soprano walks into a diner

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats the difference between a nigro and a nigro... They are both BLACK!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops