sometimes i put my hands on the floor tuck my head into my cheat and lean forward... because thats how i roll

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Did you hear about the dyslexic that choked on his own vimto?

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You know what happens when there's an awkward silence... Everyone feels a little bit uncomfortable for a brief moment in time.

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Why did the boy dig a hole in the football field? He was blind and his parents were being quite irresponsible....However someone should probably fill in that hole, as that could be a hazard during a football game.

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Why did the dog die? He was old

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What's big and green and would probably kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table.

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why did the girl scream when she got her tooth pulled? Because it hurt her.

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Why did the man cross the street? Because he had to go work.

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So your driving your brick car and the steering wheel falls off. So how many pancakes does it take to fill your dog house? 12 because hamsters don't wear shoes

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If life throws you fried chicken your probably black

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What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

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Chuck Norris has appeared in several action films.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, Oh shit, my garden is on fire

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Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to perform non-voluntary sexual acts against him.

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what has genitial warts? me

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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sometimes when im bored i dress in white pour water on the ground and roll around in it and pretend im a papertowel

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THAT'S RIGHT, BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER BOUGHT. LOOK WHAT A GREAT JOB IT DID ON THIS PAGE YEAH! I RECKON IT IS THE BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER DIDN'T SEE

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why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Why must you question a Chicken's motives to Cross the Road?

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? He didn't, animal control took the dog away from Helen because she could not properly care for the dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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