when nothing goes right go left because if you go straight you will fall off the cliff

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i had sex.

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Why wasn't the TV remote working? It was out of batteries.

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

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It said i can write my own joke so i did.

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What did the the White blood cell say to the bacteria? Nothing. Its a cell. It goes through phagocytosis.

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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Why didn't Anne Frank ever leave the attic? She did.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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What's better than doing the Hannah Montana's hoedown-throwdown? Throwin' that ho down.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

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What's green and has wheels? A green car.

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Can midgets still have big dreams?

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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Q: Why did Frank have a big horse named Bubba? A: He was allergic to cats

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Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

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Once upon a time, there were a lot of Jews......

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roses are red, violets are blue, im not going out with someone that belongs in a zoo.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

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Q: How many nuns does it take to eat a dead racoon? A: 2

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Why did the man visit 4chan? He heard about it from a coworker and was curious about what it was.

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops