what did the alcholic get his children for christman, nothing i lied about the children. Another joke by rangler thumbs up for more.

?"i'm so turned on right now." - horny light bulb

What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

What happened to the orphan who ate a sandwitch? She got hit by a whale!

why is ginger kid so sad? Because his all family was killed

Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

A black man is picking cotton in a southern white mans field. This is because the white man is paying a more than fair wage and the black man is a 3rd generation cotton picker who enjoys taking part in his heritage.

What's one plus one? two.

What did the Asian see when he went to Youtube.com? Youtube.com

Q: What's the meaning of life? A: A bush, have you ever been dragged through one? It hurts.

How are friends and bananas alike? If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

Q: what is an anti-joke? A: Coffee Volvos

Why couldn't the grandma remember what she did last night? Because she has Alzeihmers and grandmas don't do anything.

Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

Why did the chcicken cross the road? To get to the other side nl

Bob: Oh, there was a big surfing competition in Hawaii. Bill: that's really cool. Bob: yeah, there were huge waves up to 53 feet. Bill: Awesome! Bob: Yeah there was a Japanese guy that won. Bill: Wow, that will bring up the spirits of japan. Bob: Yeah, but he got disqualified. Bill: No, how?!?! Bob: he was surfing on his dresser.

roses are red violets are blue bullets are lead now i shoot you

What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

Once there was a baby ostrich name Bert. He was the cutest ostrich with those big black beady eyes, fuzzy feathers and funny wobbly baby ostrich walk. I knelt down and as Bert came running towards me as if I were his ostrich father about to protect him from something dangerous. As he got within arm’s reach I punched him so hard he turned into a baby kitten. I decided that Bert was an ...insufficient name for a baby kitten so I said to the purring ball of fuzz “I shall call you Turtle” a kitten named Turtle was a very hilarious conundrum. Things went well for an hour or two and then Turtle decided to pee on my tile floors which infuriated me because everyone knows that cat pee doesn’t come out of carpet! I decided to teach Turtle a football drill called kick the cuddly baby kitten so hard he turns into a koala bear. I sat Turtle on a football tee and suddenly our eyes met and he stared at me with the cutest face a kitten has ever made I took three steps back and turned back towards him. I stared into his big baby kitten eyes and then at a running sprint kicked him as hard as I could into the wall. There was a quiet sound like that of a space shuttle taking off into outer space. As I looked to see where my kick had sent Turtle soaring through the air, I found to my surprise, Turtle had turned into a cute cuddly baby raccoon. I walked across the room and scooped up the adorable baby raccoon. A raccoon named turtle was just too absurd so I decided to give the furry ball of warmth a new and more appropriate name. I stared into his cute raccoon eyes and declared aloud, “I shall call you Dorito!” I rocked Dorito calmly back and forth in my arms until he was fast asleep. A thought then entered my head, how funny would it be to put Dorito into a chip bag? I chuckled aloud and then decided my mind was set. I pulled a chip bag out of my backpack and carefully pulled the bag open and realized I’d been scammed! Inside the bag was a single Dorito chip. I then ate my Doritos.

i dont care if you rate me or not

There once was a man from Duluth who's never did rhyme. They were often too short.

How many ants are in the kitchen? None. We killed them all.

What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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