Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waist down and had no way of feeling

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

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Whats the difference between a prostitute and crack dealer? One sells addicting drugs, while the other exploits her vagina for money. Either way, they're both illegal.

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Q: Where did Sarah go when the bomb exploded? A: Everywhere.

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Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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why did the little girl fall off the swing she had no arms

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A group of blondes rent a car and decide to drive to Disney World. Along the highway, they see a sign reading "Disney World left." They exit the highway, turn left, and enjoy their well-deserved vacation from practicing law.

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There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog

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How did superman always save the day? Because he was a fictional tv actor so he could do whatever he wanted to.

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I was going to tell a joke about your mom's vagina, but that's overused.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

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Where did the guy who shot his neighbor go? Jail, because he was caught, sent to court, and was convicted of murder.

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drugs.

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The original Moral Man has left Horsehead network, but I will keep monitoring this section for like 3 hours... Then probably never again on this shit site it barely works ffs! Moral: "Turn every stone, and you might find a penny, turn every penny and you might find a stone that stone is in our shoe, kick it away, crush it, destroy it"

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Q. The farmer said where's my bucket A. Somewhere

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ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

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Q: Where does the queen of england live? A: This was the question I had to anwser to be able to post this joke.

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Horse.

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Lol XD,now that is bad ass of you to say that, what about her, does she get to go around too?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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