What happens when you walk around with a kick me sign on your back? you get punched in the face. How are you supposed to know it says kick, you cant see your own back.

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Knock Knock Who's there May I come in? May I come in who? . . .What's wrong with you can I come in or not?

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What's love like? Some people say it's like a lotus flower, others say it's like an orchid... Personally I'd like to say it's like a fire at the bottom of you're soul-- like when people sin and go to hell... that fire burns forever???

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Chuck Norris has a chin under his beard.

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just imagine like a whole mark no imagine like 1000 marks an army of marks ready to conquer

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Why did the house stink? There were decomposing bodies under the floor boards.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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Yo mama is so old, she might die soon! - Louis

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What's that Lassie? Timmy fell in the well again? And you couldn't care less because the stupid kid never looks where he's going?

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Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A bleeding penguin.

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Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

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Q: why did the prisoner drop his soap? A: easy sex

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there once was a chicken it was yellow

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Why was the man shot in the head twice? He wasn't because he died after the first and it is nearly impossible to survive a gunshot to the head.

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

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How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

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What happened when the football player couldn't get his Coke from the vending machine? He got angry.

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What's the difference between two elephants? One is dead.

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In Soviet Russia, Joseph Stalin killed a lot of people and there was nothing funny about it.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He believed pedestrians had the right

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Me too.

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Q:What happens when a bug walks into a bar A:It gets stepped on

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops