Your mamma's so fat she has been called morbitally obese

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What is strange about Arabs? A: Very little.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: a man in a camry runs over his wife. who's fault is it? A: toyota and their breaks.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a boy with one arm one leg and an eye patch? Names

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Ok,here's one, my brother can sometimes do it! Ok. Think of a number between 1 and 10 Add ten Add ten Add ten Add five Add five Take away your original number \~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\ _______________________________________ Is your number NOW, 40? Was your original number 6? Click thumbs up if that WAS your answer! ????????

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's Black, White, and Red all over? A Cow in a giant blender...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What does the gay man do while he is taking a shower with many other men in a prison or a gym? Lathers soap all over his body to clean himself so he is not smelly.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Yo mamma so fat, she's on a diet and is losing weight at a good, steady rate.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken invent a memory ereaser machine? So he could erease everyone's memory so they would stop making chicken jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Girl:Do you wanna hear a joke? Boy:Sure... Girl: jesus loves you

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the student go to university? To pursue a higher education.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Is it better to be born black or gay? No way to know. That is, unless you are black and gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

At 1:00AM, an old man is woken up by a knocking on the door. 'Knock knock' 'Who's there' 'An orange' The man opens the door to find a talking orange on his doorstep. The man remembers he has Schizophrenia and goes back to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken. How do you get a baby to run faster? Chase it with the lawn mower. What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor? An erection. What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender? Hold on. I'll tell you in a second. What's pink and spits? A baby in a frying pan. -S

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except that didn't work for the boy. He also lost his ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

- Wanna see a magic trick? - Sure - Too bad. I don't know any.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops