What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

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What made your girlfriend laugh to death? You dropped my pants.

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How did Billy tip the cow? He didn't, cows are animals and that would be wrong.

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What happens when you give a guinea pig a cherry? He turns into satan.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

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Why do cats burp quietly, because they aren't men

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What's up? Your time.

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what does the sloth say to Jonah reincastle? nothing Jonah is the sloth

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What did the cripple wish for when he saw the shooting star? A toothbrush.

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What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

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why couldnt hellen keller drive a car? because she was a woman

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

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Q: Whats worst than the Holocaust A: If a second Holocaust happened, and then you found an apple in your apple

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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What do you call a dead child? The product of a car crash

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Sigh... I gotta go to night class studies okay?

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How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

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A bus crashes and everybody dies.

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Roses are reddish Violets are bluish If it wasn't for Christmas We'd all be Jewish

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Jesse's mom is so god damn fat that it is an extreme danger just being around her

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why is caleb mears sucha perv? becasuee its calebbbb ahahahahahahah

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A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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