How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

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It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

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PENIS :)

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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What's the hardest thing to do while masturbating? Having sex.

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An owl and a squirrel where siting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl then turned to the squirrel and said nothing... cos owls can't talk. The owl then eats the bird because it is a bird of prey

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, How 'bout you?

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 6 feet under the ground? Doug What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 3 feet under the ground? Douglas

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We found a cure for cancer. Death

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A princess decided to kiss a frog in the hopes that it would turn into a handsome prince, as she found none of her suitors to her taste. The frog was incredibly poisonous and she died of total organ failure three days later.

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Your gay

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Two tomatoes are crossing the road. Suddenly one of them gets hit by a car. He goes "AGH!"

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. But it was winter and they froze to death

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roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

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What did the Ethiopian get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Why aren't anti jokes funny? Idk. Watermelon in your pants, you're adopted.

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Why did Jonny commit suicide? Airplanes dont have feet.

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

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Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

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why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

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If somebody stabs you in the forehead, you are likely to get injured.

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what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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