Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Smeg...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Brother Bro-ther Broad her Soap

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the woman say to the man before she had sex with him? "May I have sex with you, please?"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

how did the little black boy cross the river? he walked over the bridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock! Who's there? Steven. Steven who? Steven your neighbor, may I please come in?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a fat man who can turn slim? I don't know

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did I the granda fall out of her wheel chair?. She fell down the steps

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the boy get from his grandmother on Christmas. Nothing she died on Thanksgiving.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was there a red chicken? He tried crossing the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two fish are in a tank. One asks the other, "How do you drive this thing?"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

who else is on here?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why is Michael Jackson a bad chess player? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q. How do you blindfold a Chinese man? A. With a blindfold.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in a van headed to the slaughterhouse.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: There was a train wreck in the middle of nowhere, every one died, no one saw the train wreck, so how did the story about the wreck get out? A:Many philosophers believe that the universe is a figment of its own imagination. Therefore, if "the universe" decided that it wanted the story to get out, it could have just made it so since it is its own imagination.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both fruit. Except the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Neglegence and irresponsibility of a farmer.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Three nudists, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. No one finds it particuarly odd because the three are conscientious and wear appropriate clothing in public places.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops