Q. How do you make your neighbor mad? A. Run his kids over.

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Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

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Why do depressed people like sharp knives? Cause there good for cutting Salad

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An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Do you have to make frequent trips to the bathroom? Do you have a weak or broken stream? Do you leave the bathroom feeling satisfied? Do your frequent trips to the bathroom interrupt everyday activities? Well you should take Lunesta and just sleep. Then you wouldn't have this problem.

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In this country, you gotta get the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, you get shot the F*** up at the end of Scarface.

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What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

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What do you call a black person living in the US? An African American.

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Two people are sitting on a 10th story window sill. They both fall off and die.

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yo mamas so poor she should probably consider finding a job

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A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

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What do you get when you cross bread an eagle, a wolf and shark together? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it will kill all of us!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I felt like kicking something.

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How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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What do you do if a bird shuts on your windscreen? A:never take her out again.

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You come home and find your family dead. What do you do? Take a picture, post it on facebook

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Why was the cat meowing at the chicken? Because Sally got hit by a fridge.

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A victim of an alcohol related car accident

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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smell the vitamin C

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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why was the little boy sad? he found out that George Washington was dead.

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Knock knock. Get out!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops