Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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Once upon a time, The end.

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Why do Asians get 50% off on movies? They don't.

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What's worse than swing a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

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Whats worse than passing out drunk and having your friends draw on your face? When you die of alcohol poisoning in the morning

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Q:Why did the little girl fall out of the swing? A:Because she had no arms.

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5 Italian guys from Long Island

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roses are red violets are red? trees are red!? who the hell cut themselves?

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What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

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A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

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What happened when Susie fell off the Ferris Wheel? There was an open seat.

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Q: Who visits the dyslexic boy on christmas A: Satan

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European on my shoes, buddy.

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Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

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an islamic man with a strange bag walk into thr airport. he is probably heading toward his flight like any other person.

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Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

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A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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An Englishman walks into a bar.

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So one time there was this woman learning...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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