What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

What happens when you take a break from reality? Nothing, it's impossible, unless you live in a virtual world.

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Why did Billy fall off the slide? Someone threw a refridgerator at his face.

How many dinosaurs does it take to fill a pool? I don't know and no one will know as they are extinct organisms

-Why did the jewish man chase after the penny? -Because he's poor and needs to feed his starving family.

James got up from the couch, forgetting what he got up for he asked his girlfriend, Mary: "What did I get up for again?" Mary replied "To get your medicine for your amnesia."

Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's me, Jeremy. Oh, great to see you! Come inside. They then have a great time watching TV and eating snacks

Knock Knock........wait there cars gone, I'll come back later

Is your refrigerator running? I hope so, or else the food will go bad!

whats annoying and won't go away?. Aids.

Knock knock. Who's there? John. Oh, OK I'll be there in a sec. *opens door* Did you bring the blender and the baking tray? Oh no I forgot I'll run back and get them.

Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, because if it's black and white, it can't be red.

When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

Why did the white guy sit on the toilet? So he could take a poop.

Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

run farther?

Why isn't Michael Jackson aloud at Disney world? He is dead.

little potato when born allicator don't have neck, if u like me it's cause u stole my scooter

Q: Where was Moses when the lights went out. A: In the dark.

If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

Roses are red , violets are blue, you like 1d? STFU

Your name is Fired, your Boss comes up to you and says "Your Fired" You say "I know my name." Your boss gets mad and throws you in a chimney

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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