Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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A black man and a white man crash their cars. they promptly exchange insurance information and apologize to each other about the inconvenience.

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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A man is at a party. He gets hungry so he waits in the foodline and then he gets some food. Then he has to go to the bathroom so he waits in the bathroomline and goes to the bathroom. Then he is thirsty so he goes to get some punch and realizes that there is no punchline.

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How many pieces of toast can you eat in 1 year? well, it depends on how many pieces you eat in one day, does it count snacks, or full meals of just toast, can you eat even when your not hungary, if you throw up does it still count? If it is 1 piece a day, it would be 365.

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whats long ,hard and full of sea men ? a sumureen

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Knock knock come in.

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How many black people can you fit into a cardboard box? Depends on how big the box is.

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Why did the blind man have a poo Because he needed one.

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

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Jim bean takes out a can of- Let me guess- No.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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A: what did one apple say to the other apple. B: Nothing apples cant talk

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Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

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A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

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women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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