Yo mama so fat that she probably has a thyroid problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken have a sore neck? Because the farmer cut the chicken's head off, and the body ran around for three minutes until it finally bled to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the little girl sad? An elephant shat on her face

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock, knock. Who's there? George. George who? Oh sorry, I thought this was number 52. my mistake.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many police does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they all beat the room for being black.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what is worst than 1 bee stings two bee stings what is worst than two bee stings holocaust what is worse than three bee stings getting raped by a giant scorpion

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

thumb_up thumb_down +12

hey i just met you and this is crazy... but loose my number and keep the baby LOL

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's long and black The unemployment line

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Death by kayak

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Go away still nothing to see

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Hi. P.S: You have aids. P.P.S: Purple penis pumpernickel pie puppets.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

You: Why did hitler go to hell? Them: Why? You: You're an idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock. who's there? your dead cat, here you go.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats the difference between a car and a baby? I would have a hard time throwing a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why couldn't Timmy ride his bike? He didn't have a bike, his family was very poor and did have much money. Therefore a bike for Timmy was the last of their concerns.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops