What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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Hi rebecca , its me that guy over there. purple moneky blue dishwasher. aka JUMANJIIII

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What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

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What did the disabled kid get for his birthday. The same as any other kid.

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what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

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Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

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Johnny has 32 cookies. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes, Johnny has diabetes.

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What kind of words did the terrorist say on his date? His last ones.

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what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

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Why did Larry the Cable Guy say "Git R Dun"? Because he thought it was funny, and so did a bunch of other people for some reason.

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How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

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what does a jet and plane have in common? the letter "e"

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Three mexicans walk into a bathroom they all had to go pee.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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Firgen and the blung brigade

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roses are red violets are blue tulips are white daisies are yellow

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A Irish leaves and bump in to a really tall the Irish sorry boss

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What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

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Why did Michael Vick run? Because he was being chased by defenders.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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