Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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What did the very inquisitive poor black guy say to the very rich white man at the train station? Nothing, they didn't know each other. And they both had their iPods in. And they were at different train stations. And they were in different countries. And the black guy died 20 years ago.

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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If you're American outside of the bathroom, then what are you inside the bathroom? An American inside of a bathroom.

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When does the ice cream get thrown at the yellow horse on thursday evening? Purple Monkey Rainbow

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whats brown and stick? brown paint that has not dried yet.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares?

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What do you call a paralyzed man on a fishing boat? Robert

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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courestaveesh garasow prau varadesh

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Q:What did the scissors say to the paper? A: Nothing, cause thier scissors and paper they don't talk..

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Why couldn't kitty drink it's milk?\ It's face was nailed to the floor

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

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What did Robin say to Justin Beiber? You're gay. Angus L.

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Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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