A neutron walked into a bar and asked "how much for a drink?" The bartender did not reply because a neutron is so small he didn't notice that it even entered.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He has no legs.

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

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What did the Cat get for Christmas? Nothing cats don't celebrate Christmas

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? 9/11

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Why was the Black man running with a T.V.? Because he had just purchased a new LCD FlatScreen from BestBuy, and a torrential downpour had just began and he didn't have a free hand to hold up his umbrella.

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Why was the African American man afraid of dogs? He had a terrible childhood memory of being violently dry humped by a german shepherd.

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UN

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What would you say if you girlfriend got hit by a train? Trick question, trains don't go through kitchens!

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What did the cow say to the other cow? "Baaa", he had an identity crisis.

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I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

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Q: Why should you never let Jerry Sandusky babysit your children? A: Because, in November of 2011, Sandusky was arrested and charged with 40 counts of sexual abuse of young boys over a 15-year period. A man with this type of background does not seem like a an ideal choice for a babysitter.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish.

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An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate the chicken.

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their was a black man in my family tree hes still hanging on

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It needed excitement in its otherwise mundane lifestyle.

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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Yo' Mama's so old that her age is over the average age of most people.

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A flea walks into a bar. Nobody notices because it is a very small insect

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that fell down a flight of stairs

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I fantasize about having sex with a moose

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What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops